“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Gautama Buddha It’s been awhile since I … Continue reading
Do you ever stop and think about all the little experiences you’ve had along the way? And how all those little experiences make you who you are? I often wonder how. I wonder, how someone who has lived a seemingly similar life as I have – can turn out to be so different. I wonder how people are motivated. I wonder what drives people’s decisions. I wonder about everything. Some would say I’m crazy, or that I think too much or whatever. But, I guess, what I’m seeking is knowledge and truth. I want to know it all. So what drives you?
The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its
own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when
one contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous
structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend
a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity.
The past two, let’s say three, weeks have been very challenging for me. Not only has work been most stressful, but I’m in the process of buying my first home, realigning life with the hubby going back to school, balancing a marriage while all still striving towards some of my other BHAGS (Big Hairy Audacious Goals). As we’ve all felt at one time or another, I’ve been a bit overwhelmed.
However, I’m fortunate enough to work in an environment where people care, not only care that you are alive and well, but they care about you from every angle. They take the time to help, to understand and to guide you out of the mess you’ve gotten yourself into. It’s been almost a year since I started and 2013 has been a year of tremendous growth both professionally and personally. This kind of growth is the kind that builds a foundation for the rest of your life.
I’ve started investing in myself, which comes with harsh truths and realities. I think one of the hardest things in life to do is to get real with yourself, get real about your habits, your flaws, your strengths, everything.
I’m ready to make 2014 the year that I not only do the most (#dtm), but most importantly, grow the most.
We have been conditioned to believe that you have to know what you want at 18 – make the choice – then at 21-22 be ready to live out that choice forever. Yet, when my generation hit 21-22 that changed. We no longer had the Promised Land laid out for us. There were people our parent’s ages vying for the same jobs we were. We were left confused, (some of us) unemployed, on top of mounting student loan debt, moving back in with our parents and so forth. This all topped off with a promise of change.
We lived (and in many ways are still living) in an environment of false security, and empty promises.
Ultimately, there was doubt. Personally, I questioned every move I made. Is this right one? If I do this – will my future career suffer, will I never be able to live out my dreams? Am I settling? Was school a waste? etc…
Finally, I stopped. I stopped making excuses. I stopped living in that awful black hole of ‘what if.’ Instead, I looked at my life and the opportunities I had ahead of me. And breathed.
Why can’t I just do what I want? Why do I have to have all the answers all the time? Why am I constantly planning? Why won’t I allow myself to get lost? To screw up? To live in the present.
We must look forward to exploration, discovery and adventure. Instead of getting caught up in our own moments of despair and wonderment, and the what if’s – we must channel our drive and be willing to get lost. Not lost as in wandering aimlessly rather – let’s be lost. Lost with intention.
“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien
We have been conditioned to believe that at 18 you have to know what you want to become – make the choice – then at 21-22 be ready to live out that choice forever. Yet, when my generation hit 21-22 that changed. We no longer had the Promised Land laid out for us. There were people our parent’s ages vying for the same jobs we were. We were left confused, some of us unemployed with mounting student loan debt, having to move back in with our parents, etc.. and a promise of change. We lived (and in many ways still living) in an environment of false security, and empty hope.
There was doubt. Personally, I questioned every move I made. Is this right one? If I do this – will my future career suffer, will I never be able to live out my what I had imagined and so forth. Until finally I stopped.
Instead, I started to look at my life and the opportunities I had ahead of me. And finally thought, why can’t I just do what I want? Why do I have to have all the answers all the time? Why am I constantly planning? Why won’t I allow myself to get lost? To screw up? To live in the present.
We must look forward to exploration, discovery and adventure. Instead of getting caught up in our own moments of despair and wonderment, and the what if’s – we must channel our drive and be willing to get lost. Not lost and wandering rather allowing yourself to discover new routes – in essence, living lost with intention.
There once was a hero, a man so brave and courageous. All who know him love him. This hero is not only strong, but he is wise. He sacrificed for his loved ones, overcame obstacles and still remains as an example of unconditional love and support. I often wonder, if he truly sees how he impacts people.
Like most heroes he is not always aware of his power. Unfortunately, again, like most heroes he has a fatal flaw. This flaw is completely within his grasp to control. How do you lead a horse to water and make it drink? How do you tell a hero to change when all this time he’s been invincible?
I just pray my hero makes a change so that his growing legacy will know him outside of a picture frame or book.
Recently, I had the honor to be in a very good friend’s wedding. Instead of planning ahead, I held off and on the Sunday before the wedding, I decided I should try on my bridesmaid dress. To my horror, it didn’t fit! Not only did it not fit but her wedding was on Friday, meaning I had less than a week to get this dress to fit!
In my moment of panic, I decided the only thing I could do was to lose weight. So I went on a crazy military diet and then found another dress on Amazon that I priority shipped. As Friday rolled around, I was anxiously awaiting the arrival of my dress. I did manage to lose 5lbs in 4 days but the dress still didn’t look right. I ran home the day of the wedding during my brief window of time before bridal party festivities began, as luck would have it I pulled into the driveway as the UPS delivery person was walking up to my front door. Success!
Throughout this scramble of activities, I spoke with my sister about how ridiculous I was. Upon that conversation, I began to think this ‘type of thing’ seems to always happen to me.
I hate when people victimize their circumstances. So by saying this ‘type of thing happens to me’ gives me an out. I no longer have to take ownership of the situation, which in reality, I’m the only one who ‘owns’ this situation because of my lack of planning.
Its so easy to look for excuses as why things happen. I could say, well I’ve been so busy, the dress was discontinued, etc… Instead, I’m learning that all things happen because of something I’ve done, good or bad. So instead of looking for who to blame or what could have caused it – I’m challenging myself to just be better.
I’m planning better, taking the time to do things right and not rush through. I’m learning that although, I’ve mastered the art of procrastination, I can avoid many obstacles by just accomplishing things when I set out to do them.
I’m now on the path of mastering the art and execution of a plan.
Side note, it took me 3 weeks to actually finish this blog..still working on this procrastination habit.
“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.” – Robert Frost
People read this poem and think – Yes! Be original! Follow your heart, Break away from the crowd….blah blah blah.
If you read it, is becomes clear that the two roads are exactly the same. The point of the poem is that everyone wants to look back and think that their choices matter. This tells us that it doesn’t matter which path you take the inevitable will happen regardless. In essence, what will happen will happen.
Let’s think on that a minute.
If, what will happen – will happen regardless of what I do. Then what’s the point?
Personally, I agree. It doesn’t really matter what path you take. However, it does matter what we do while on the path. You can go left or you can go right and at the end it won’t matter – the destination is the same.
What does matter are the steps you take in reaching the destination.
Whose life did you impact along the way? How did you help others? Did you run them over or did you stop to help? Were you humble, thankful and gracious? Did you work too hard to notice the details?
Yes, the destination may end up the same regardless, but it’s the journey you have to reflect on once you’ve arrived.
Don’t stress about what happens next, or whether or not you took the right path. The path will lead you to where you need to go regardless. The journey however, will only be as great as you make it.
So focus on the now, the present, while making smart decisions and while enjoying the people around you. Look for opportunities along your path and don’t over think the choices you made.
I tend to be guilty in thinking of ‘what ‘s the next best thing.”
I have to remind myself that I’m living in ‘what was the next best thing.’ I have to remind myself to relax, to keep calm and trust that the path I’m on is the path that leads me to the destination I’ve envisioned.
After all once the zombies take over it won’t matter anyway. 🙂
One of my good friends, who in many ways motivates and inspires me, recently moved to NYC. In all her updates she includes a few of her favorite quotes. Without a doubt I tend to resonate with at least one of her shared quotes.
This week it was:
“But it’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.” –Alice in Wonderland.
So often we get stuck on what we could have, what we should have done and what if we had done… I hate this kind of thinking. It’s bad not only for your mental health but it actually catapults you backwards.
Whether or not you think about it daily, you are in fact a different person today than you were yesterday, literally yesterday. Each day is new providing you with a start fresh to live the life you want. The past does one thing – hold you back. Yes, learn from mistakes but don’t hang onto past wounds, past decisions, or past failures. If you’re not failing you’re not trying and that may be the worst offensive of all.
What do you need to let go of today?
In general, it seems as though people simply lack a strong work ethic. Whether this is a result of their upbringing, passion for their jobs or maybe they are simply not challenged enough to perform at a higher level. No matter the reason, there is seldom an excuse for poor work ethic.
If you are waiting for the right job, the right boss etc then you’re already too late. Finish the job upon completion not upon the work day ending. Lay the foundation now. Be a linchpin now. Don’t wait for the ‘right’ situation to do your best.
We should always be striving towards greatness, progression and discipline. If not, you will be left in the dust. You will most likely never come across that ‘right’ opportunity to be the linchpin you know you can be. No one will give you the chance. competition just took your future position, your future promotion – they literally took your future. In all that you do, I challenge you to always put your best foot forward.
If you’re not being challenged – then challenge yourself. Eliminate distractions, work on yourself and further develop your skills.
Note: I would highly recommend reading Seth Godin’s Linchpin.